A Little Break

Sorry, everyone. I haven't changed my site. Just took a holiday break.
I want to take a moment to remind people that there's still hope. Even though my mom's time on this earth is over, we will see her again. For now, we must trudge on. I'm not saying that it'll be easy because it won't be, but look around you. There are so many people who also love her, and understand the grief we're all feeling.
You all know that my mom loved and is loved by everyone. She touched so many people. Now it's time to help her....well, her legacy....others going through the same thing.
For as long as I can remember, my eyes have been set on Obstetrics/Gynecology or Reconstructive Plastic Surgery as my probable prrofessions. Well, I guess I've added a new one to my list...cancer research. I want to be able to help those who are going through situations similar to what my mother went through.
~B

The Visitation

I've been advised to change my blog site, but I don't think I'm going to. Seeing how many people have told me that they're glad to read mine makes me want to keep it just as it is,
Today was the visitation, and though it was hard at first, we had/have a lot of support. People just kept saying how they were in disbelief that I wasn't crying. To clarify and make sure that no one thinks I'm cruel and coldhearted, I've done my crying. I know where my momma is, and that I'll see her again.
~B

The end of the fight

Momma died this morning around 8:20 am. I just can't understand this. She was too young; I'm too young; Hope's too young. No child as young as Hope should EVER have to watch their mother die or even see their mother go through what mine did. I would never wish this on anyone not even my greatest enemy. I'm so glad that most of you guys came over to see her before she went home. It's good to be able to say your last goodbye. Thank you for doing that. Even though Momma couldn't talk, I know that she was grateful you came. I'm just sorry that my cousin didn't get to say goodbye.
Thank you for your support and love,
~B

Visitors....

There were so many of my friends who came today. At least 7. And 4 of them ended up crying. Mom does NOT look good. I don't know if she'll make it through tonight. I really hope she does. Not everyone has said goodbye, yet. Including you guys and my older girl cousin who is having a really hard time with this.
To whoever of my mother's family that found my blog, keep in mind that it is just that. MY blog, and I go by what I see. And to those who get angry with my dad for what he writes in his blog, same thing. IT'S HIS BLOG. Do you ever think that I didn't tell anyone besides 3 of my friends because I didn't want you to know about this???? I am allowed to state my opinions in MY blog, and if you don't like them, don't read it. Just like my dad, this is my way of venting. And even in my defense, I wrote, "TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE..." Don't jump all over me when you don't know my intentions.

Psalm 23 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever."
~B

Chats

Today, I finally went in to talk to my favorite teacher who is a Christian as well to give her the latest update on Mom. She and I talked for a good half hour and it really helped me. Then when I got home, I had a good chat with my daddy.
I beg of you guys, keep Mom in your prayers, but keep my daddy there too. He loves my mom so much and I worry about him a lot. You'll never meet another man quite like my daddy who has amazing advice and tons of unconditional love.

Psalm 105:4-5 "Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgements he uttered

~B

A day of support, tears, and hugs

I think that yesterday was one of the hardest days on me, but luckily for me, I have my friends who help carry me through and hold me up. So, where do I go from here??? I have a choice to make and I think that I know which one I want to make, but it's not the easy one. I can either turn bitter from this(bad choice), or I can glorify God for the time I did have with my mom.


"1.To God be the glory,Great things He hath done; So loved He the world That He gave us His Son, Who yielded His life An atonement for sin, And opened the lifegate That all may go in.

Chorus:Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His Voice! Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice! O come to the Father Thro' Jesus the Son, And give Him the glory, Great things He hath done.

2. O perfect redemption, The purchase of blood, To ev'ry believer The promise of God; The vilest offender Who truly believes, That moment from Jesus A pardon receives.

Chorus: Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His Voice! Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice! O come to the Father Thro' Jesus the Son, And give Him the glory, Great things He hath done.

3. Great things He hath taught us, Great things He hath done, And great our rejoicing Thro' Jesus the Son; But purer, and higher, And greater will be Our wonder, our vict'ry When Jesus we see.

Chorus: Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His Voice! Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice! O come to the Father Thro' Jesus the Son, And give Him the glory, Great things He hath done. "

this next part is something that my cousin wrote, and you should read. If you guys want this info, email him. His name's Blake, and just tell him you're one of my freinds. He'll be more than happy to get the stuff to you.

"I'm writing this as my fiancee has, in order to bring awareness to the current situation of my aunt Amy. She has been fighting pancreatic cancer for the better part of a year now and yesterday I was informed that the doctors told her she has 2-3 weeks to live. As anyone who has been to the doctor knows, it is not cheap. They have 4 children and one income if you are wanting to help out please email me at beastkillr@gmail.com and I can provide you with the information for their trust or provide you with a flyer that you can present to many local (Waterloo/Cedar Falls) Pizza Huts and 20% of your purchase will go to Amy's cause, the only date that the Pizza Hut offer is valid is Thursday November 16, so please contact me so I can get you a copy of the flyer, and please spread the word!Again the email to get the information from is beastkillr@gmail.com, I check that email frequently during the day time so i apologize if their is a delay in my response!"

If any of you want to see my mom before she goes home, please do. Short visits, but she needs to see how many people love her and will be here to help take care of her family after she's gone.

2 WEEKS????

Yesterday morning, my mom fell in the shower, and couldn't get up. She can't walk anymore, guys. She's not even 40, and she can't hold herself up. Then, they saw her doctor and he told them that she has 2 weeks left here on earth. 2 weeks????? That's all???? This is not in any way fair. What did any of us do to have to endure this??? Why MY mom???? Only God can answer that. My mom won't get to see her kids graduate or get married or have kids or grow old with their spouses. Mom's too young to die. Trevor's birthday is next week. His 14th bday. Vinny turns 10 in a few weeks and Hope turns 6 the week after Vinny's. I just pray that she'll make it through their bdays. My grandma died on my aunt's (her daughter's) bday 6 years ago. I pray that doesnt happen to my siblings. A bday is supposed to be happy, not sad. I love my mom so much, and I need her, you guys.

"Our God is an awesome god.
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power, and love.
Our God is an awesome god."

And that He is!!!!!!!!! His will will be done whether it be to take her home or to heal her forever. God knows our needs, and will give us them.

Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask and it will be given to you seek and you will find it; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks the door will be opened."

Thank you all for your support, love, and prayers.
~B