The New Thing

So, today, Mom had to have a port put in to give her the chemmotherapy. She just kept throwing the pills up. So, she has what looks like a fanny pack on her that has wire from it, up to her chest and into a vein. It's a pretty complicated contraption.
My grandmother's here. So, if you could, please pray for my patience and kindness.

woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom doesn't have any treatment, today or tomorrow. She's still thrown up a few times today, though. Her itching is gone, but she still has a lot of scabs on her legs and back. Her biliruben level was 4.1 on Thursday, so that's a good sign that the stint is still working.
As for me, I spent most of the day reading the rest of that romance novel and crying because of it. It was an AWESOME book!!!! Guess what my parents did for me??? They bid on bowling money for me, and won it. $38 for bowling and food from the bowling alley. It just doesn't include shoe rental fee.

Normality!!!

So, things are pretty much back to normal in the house, but I am dreading tomorrow. Chemotherapy probably starts tomorrow. I just keep imagining Mama without hair, and it scares me. The doctors say that she shouldn't lose her hair, but there's always a possibility. Daddy says he'll buy her wigs. Blonde-because ALL her siblings have blonde hair, Black-because he's always wanted to date a woman with black hair, and Red(like mine)-because she used to have red hair. What do you guys think about me cutting my hair short and donating it to her??? Seriously, I want to know how you guys would react.

Deep Breath

Mom's getting used to her radiation(25more days!!!!), and starts chemotherapy onThursday. She didn't throw up from her radiation, today, that's a plus!!!! The ribbons that I gave you guys symbolize your love and support for my mother, that's why you should wear them everyday, Timothy.
Oh my goodness, someone called Dan and paid for me to go to Biloxi!!! They asked to be anonymous. When Daddy told me, I was in the midst of doing the dishes. I just leaned over the sink and started bawling. I really wish I knew who it was so that I could properly thank them.

Purple Day

So, it's purple day, guys, and wow!!! I'm so happy that you cared enough to wear it. (Even though Justin had to bring you a shirt, Tim
:-( ) lol. ok, well, lets hope and pray that mom's biliruben is down and she can start her chemo/radiation. The sooner we can all resume our normal lives, the better.
I hope you guys know how much it means to me that you're wearing purple.

Controversies

Mom and I have fought a lot today. She really doesn't want me to go to Biloxi. She kept saying, "You have your own mission here." Telling me that my real mission is to help her get better. Maybe so, but in order to do that, I need to make sure my heart is in the right spot here. What better way to do that than to humble myself and go through some hard, laborious work??? Promise me, both of you that you'll keep me on task if I fall short of expectations down there. Don't be afraid to order me around. I keep singing to myself that one song that says, "Make me a servant, humble and meek..." That song has totally been implanted into my heart since that day at Brianna's when I went to get Katie's glasses for her. Please pray that that song stays iny heart, and that I will never let it go. Hope too see you guys wearing some purple tomorrrow. It'd mean the world to me!!!

Stress and More Stress

Sorry about not writing yesterday, folks. I needed sleep!!!!
Well, today's been quite a stressor. Mom's itching has lulled, but not completely stopped. She thinks that her bile is too thick for thebile duct right now. Well, that could only bring about 2 things: putting a shunt(sp?) in her which would be a straw like thing running directly from her liver to the outside of her body (talk about a weird combo of gross and cool!!!!), or they could just do the surgery.
If you want to comment on things that I'm writing, there is a comment link at the bottom of each section. I long to hear what you're thinking about all this.
Thanks for all your love and support!!!!!

Third Time Through

Today, Mom had to have her third stent(stint???) put in. Her itching has slowed way down, and I finally got to hug her for the first time in like a month. If you have time, you should rerally check out my dad's blog for today. It really made me cry, and if you really know me that well, you know how much I hate crying in front of people.
So I had yet another choir concert tonight, and Mom couldn't come because she was pretty loopy froom the medicine that they gave her for the pain. That was a big disappointment, but Daddy and two of my friends were there.

Family Galore

Wow, this day's been pretty stressful, for me. I am so sick of having family here that I'm not always very nice to them. But to be faair, they're not always so nice to me, either.
So, my mom was supposed to start chemotherapy and radiation, but since the stint keeps colapsing, and her biliruben isn't back to normal, they didn't start it. I just want all this to be over with; I want my normal, everyday life back!!!!!

The Hardest Part

My name is Brittany Howard, and my father, Vince Howard, also has a blog spot(http://amysjourny.blogspot.com/). Through his spot, he tells about my mother's battle against pancreatic cancer. Through mine, I wish to tell about how I am feeling about our family's struggle through this. The person writing this one could be me, or my brother, Trevor.
As of right now, I'm feeling kind of stressed. I love my mom very much, and well, I used to hug her goodbye everyday. Because of her itching, I can't touch her at all. That is what one of my hardest things to remember is.